do i hate exercising?

I do.  I hate the time leading up to it; I hate doing it; I love having done it.

‘Cause I need it.  My gut fat isn’t mushy, so that’s bad gut fat to have.  And I can’t run ar0und for more than two minutes without having to call a mortician.  Some day I wanna play with my kids and not have to quit after just one short piggyback ride.

So Rebecca and I either take long walks until we’re covered in sweat, or we work out to one of three DVDs.  We got Barry’s Boot Camp, which is great ’cause he really encourages you the whole time, telling you why you wanna work out, acknowledging how hard it is, telling you that you only have a few more to go, and generally lying to you about how the perfect models in his DVD have had a dozen kids each already.  So he’s entertaining.  Then there’s that Jillian chick from Biggest Loser.  She’s insane.  It’s just go-go-go with her and theres no encouragement, just a lot of bitching.  But when we’re done, there’s sweat covering everything so it’s good.  Last is that Taebo guy, Billy Blanks.  He is a crazy mother fucker.  He runs from one complex exercise you don’t know how to do to the next without any breaks.  He tells you to do ten reps, then does twenty, to the confusion of the rest of his trainers.  He’s yelling, his eyes are bugging out, and he’s pushing himself to the limit.  Lemme say that he’s a professional martial artist, so when he’s pushing himself to the limit, you’ve died a half-hour ago.

My point of all this?  Just venting.  I’m covered in sweat and needed to share.  So if you want to share my sweat, come on over.  You know where I live.

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